Needle Point
Tomorrow morning, I will be laid out, locally anesthetized, and punctured with a needle. I have no problem with needles. I actually like needles especially when they are being used to deliver anesthesia of any flavor, local or otherwise.
The target of the aforementioned needle is my spine and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it. My back has been jacked up for maybe three months now and I’ve just about had enough of this shit. An MRI has confirmed that my skeleton is no longer performing the function for which it was intended, vertebras are degenerating and disks are “bulging.” I found a guy who says he can put me back in the saddle by poking a needle into my spine and injecting “something” into it. I’ll find out what that “something” is tomorrow.
I don’t really care what that mysterious “something” is, whether it be hammered goat testicles or motor oil, it just doesn’t matter at this point. I haven’t set foot in my pottery studio for months, my precious Les Paul is gathering dust and my biblical directives have been terribly neglected. What biblical directives you ask? Consult Deuteronomy, or maybe Leviticus, I can’t remember where it is but it goes something like this, “Go in unto thy brother’s wife and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother,” sorry, that’s not the one. I’m working by memory here but I’m pretty sure Gawd wants me to “know” my wife and “lay” with her or maybe it’s “on” her. The Laured and I don’t agree about…anything really, but I can get behind him on this point. Actually, I couldn’t care less what some jealous and wrathful deity thinks of my personal life, I just like saying “Gawd” and “Laured” almost as much as I like putting words in “quotations.” Bottom line, my back’s been giving me fits and I’m ready for that sweet, sweet needle.
Regarding my duties to wife, work and art, it is my potter’s wheel that has suffered the most neglect. My current state of physical torpor renders any thought of clayworking completely out of the question. So, as a memorial to the hunks of clay that are languishing in their plastic bags, I’m posting the results of my last Raku pottery firing extravaganza three long months ago.
I call this one "Urn." Seriously, I don't know where I come up with these names. Sometimes the pottery tries to name itself, stuff like "Despoiled Terra" or some other such lame self-indulgent nomenclature.
54 Comments:
Good luck, my dad had the injection and he said it worked well.
That pottery is fantastic
My Laured what wonderful works of Lusture pottery. They are exquisite! I really wish you would sell them on the net. I Love the smoke fired urn! Reminds me of some stationary line I designed sold in a small market many moons ago.. Good luck with your back, I cant imagine what kind of pain your in but Im hoping the good gods smile health upon you kind sir!
My suggested name for the urn? Urn of Aquarias - too poncey???
How about "Urn with a small opening". And I won't explain it, like you, it's just too personal.
Good luck with the needle. I'm hoping for the goat's sake it isn't crushed testicle.
Was hoping to see the ones I picked on here, but it's probably for the best.. it would just make everyone else jealous!
Good luck at the Voodo Doctor!
What if they're injecting you with a tracking microchip while they're in there? Then the republicans will know where you are at all times. They'll KNOW when you name the last urn...they'll know.
Good Luck with the back needle. I hope it does the job and you can get back to being a potter. You must miss it very much. If I can venture a suggestion for the last photo ? Call me old fashioned, but had you considered "urn" ? Or maybe " eric"? (English joke) Anyway, I digress. Good Luck. S
I do love your turn of phrase. A very enjoyable read, even if I did have to skip the bits about needles (it's a long-standing phobia).
I used to throw pots. I miss it. Yours are exquisite - I'm extremely impressed - whatever they're called.
Good luck with the Saw Bones.
Puss
Holy freaking moly, these are gorgeous. Good god man, is there anything you CAN'T do?
Call it The Santa Claus Trophy. (I suggest this because I'm sitting here comparing your works of art to the pieces of crap that get made around here...)
Good luck with the procedure!
Keith's Poppy-coke urn?
Hope the needle works for you. I know about spines. I was dropped on a rock once, and mangled my sacrum a bit.
I really like the second and last urn; I never gave much thought to pottery but now that I see what you can do with it, it looks really interesting.
I hope the shot works for you, my father has had that done a few times for his back and it worked out pretty well for him, though, unfortantely his problems are too severe and the shots don't do much for him anymore.
So? You're improved?
"Urn" maybe.
Or you could switch it up, if you suspect you've used that one before: "run" or "nru".
Hope the back thing works. I had cortisone injected into the joint space of my right shoulder ... three times ... still had to have surgery ... but that doesn't mean YOUR injection won't work for YOU!
Eek, needles!
Slag~
Hope the needle does the trick... you are much to young to be laid up!
All of your urns are beautiful. Pottery is one of my major weaknesses & obviously one of your many strengths. Do you ever sell any? I remember your lamps too...all wonderful in form & function.
I don't know this one cries out Jug.
I know I'm a little late, and I understand there is nothing that I'm about to say that hasn't already been said.
I hope the surgery goes well for you. Pain sucks. Someone with a mind like yours deserves better. :)
And your urns are heavenly. What makes them shine like that? Is it the glaze (and is it irridescent?) or the "raku" firing? (And what does that mean, anyway?!)
Good luck, Slag.
Hi Hammer, thanks. I’m starting the second day after the needle affair and it is pretty much going like they said it would, i.e., hurts more than it did before the needle for the first two days. We’ll see how it goes.
Hi Judith, I like the smoke fired one too. They are a hell of a lot more work to produce or I would do more of them. Regarding the pain, I’ve had a lot worse but it is definitely cutting into my work and play. I figure sooner or later it will all get settled one way or another. I like your suggestion of naming the last piece “Aquarius,” but I’m still leaning towards “Urn,” it is so simple yet complicated, sweet yet sour, hard yet flaccid.
Hey Jazz, ouch! No need to explain, we will never speak of this again. :-)
Thanks for the well-wishes for me and the goat. However, make no mistake about it, if all that is standing between me and relief is a pair of hairy hanging goat’s testicles, it would be wise to count the testicles hammered.
Hi Rachet [sic], I was planning to include pics of your choices in this post but they are not Raku fired, and as you know, I’m all about Raku these days. I’ll post yours in the near future though.
Hi Kara, I hadn’t thought about it but I hope they did stick a microchip in me. There’s nothing that gives me more pleasure than the thought of some tight-assed bureaucratic jesus freak having to record how many times a day I shake my metaphorical tallywhacker in their general direction.
Hi Sarah, thanks for the well-wishes. By the way, I like the way you think, “Urn” is an excellent suggestion for the last pot. I would consider naming it “Eric” if you let me in on the joke. Regarding us United Statians, as has been well established by our embrace of all things Monty Python, it is not really that important that we understand the context or the particulars behind a British joke. Just post a picture of a hedgehog, emulate a French accent and it’s a done deal.
Hi Glamourpuss, at this time, my bones have been sawed. I’m still in the “wait and see” phase and it might be another couple of days before the effects of the needle become apparent. Regarding your experience at the potter’s wheel, I hope you have a chance to pick it back up someday. I don’t think there is any other artistic endeavor that provides such gratifying feedback as transforming a wet, slippery lump of dirt into something that might conceivably last thousands of years. I guess that could be a bad thing considering some of the trash that I should have smashed long before the second firing. :-)
Hey Whippersnapper, thank you for your kind assessment of my humble efforts. However, I’ve seen the Santa Claus Trophy and I know how you feel about it but I have to say that I consider it not only an excellent example of post-neo-classical-heroin-folk art (in an “Antiques Road Show manner of speaking), but also a stroke of comic genius tailor-made for your style of writing which in my opinion is a barrel-full of maximum hilarity.
Hi Scott from Oregon, I suspect your sacrum mangling incident stemmed from a rock-climbing adventure gone haywire. I guess a busted tailbone is a best-case scenario for falling off of a mountain. By the way, at the risk of exposing my ignorance of pop-culture or Mesoamerican history or whatever, I have to know, what is Keith’s Poppy-coke.
Hi Silverneurotic, pottery is one of the ancient arts. It also falls into the category of utilitarian art, which is part of what draws me to it. Sometimes you can see fingerprints on pottery shards that are thousands of years old, prints that were made by the potter while the clay was still wet. There might be scrape marks and burns that came about as a result of countless meals prepared by some long forgotten family centuries before the pyramids were built. I don’t expect that mine will be dug from the ground ten thousand years from now but it still feels oddly satisfying that my little pieces of clay might be around long after humanity has blown itself to smithereens.
Hey Stucco, I’m still in the “wait and see” phase. Doc says life will suck for a few days before things get back to where they were before the needle affair. Then things will either get better or stay the same. I’m almost back to where I was prior to having my ass hiked up in the air on that totally fucked-up looking table. It looked like something you would see in a porn video, very cold in there too.
Hi Laura, I heard shoulder surgery is no picnic. A friend of mine told me it hurt so bad it changed his personality. Regarding the “Nru,” I like that name. It reminds of the other name for a Wildebeast, a Gnu. I happen to be working on a post about Gnus.
Hey Orhan, needles are our friends. They deliver all manner of relief from the ravages of life.
Hi Skinny, young you say? Ok, for the sake of argument I’ll go along with your assessment of my chronological state of being. Better yet, I’ll just apply that word to my mental faculties, which some might argue border on childish.
I’m always encouraged when somebody sees beauty in my little lumps of clay. I’m way too close to them to make a reasonable judgment of their aesthetic worthiness. You know what they say about “a face only a mother could love.” I’m exactly opposite, I know where every flaw is and I know the feeling I was trying to convey before being sidetracked by a slip of the hand or lack of technical proficiency. I still get an indescribably good feeling from working the clay, regardless of how they turn out.
Hi Agent Kitten, I thought you had given up blogging many moons ago, welcome back. There aren’t many of my pieces that cry out “jug,” but I think this is definitely one of them. Maybe I’ll reverse the letters and call it “Guj.
Hi Nic, your’re not late at all, I’m just getting back to being able to sit long enough to pound the keyboard. Thanks for the well-wishes and I think I’m headed in the right direction where pain is concerned.
Regarding Raku, the shine is a result of the glazes that I mix, which are heavy with metal oxides and carbonates, and a firing technique that involves pulling the pottery from the kiln with long tongs at full temperature, between 1500 and 2300 degrees Fahrenheit. At these temperatures, the glaze is essentially partially liquefied glass with metal “rust” suspended within. The blazing hot pottery is plunged into a bucket full of combustible material; I use mostly shredded paper and sawdust. At the moment the bucket erupts into flames and the red hot pots are at the epicenter of the flames, oxygen is removed from the equation and the metal carbonates and oxides (rust) begin their conversion back into metal. At every step of the process, the results are all about timing, how long the pot is left on the kiln shelf before pulling, how long it is held in open air to cool before plunging, how long the burn is allowed to continue before the lid is placed on the bucket and to what degree you are able to stop oxygen from entering the bucket which will convert the metals back into oxides. Even with perfect timing, the infinite variables of how the various gasses (hydrogen, carbon monoxide, etc) react with copper carbonate, iron oxide, cobalt carbonate, etc., will determine which of the metals dominate the surface and to what degree they shine, iridesce or generally refract light. The result can be controlled to a degree but every firing is a crap shoot. Sometimes they come out great, sometimes they shatter from heat stress or the glaze oxidizes back to a flat ugly abomination. There are a few posts that show some of the process in my archives here: http://alchemyanyone.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_archive.html
I hope your question wasn’t rhetorical. :-)
Glad to see you back and commenting ....I like the Hopes and Dreams Urn... reminds me of I Dream of Jeanie! Lovely works.
And for both your sake AND Jilly's,,, GET WELL SOON!
How you feelin today, buddy? I call you Urn with bad back.
Glad you're back ! Really interested to read the info on how you make your pottery. Sounds pretty scary, but fascinating. It must be like Christmas, waiting to see the finished result! As for the "Eric" thing - I meant Eric from Eric & Ern aka Morecambe & Wise. Do you know them?I think you can see them at ericandern.co.uk/. Part of my childhood.And my legs resemble Eric's " short, fat and hairy".No, actually they don't.God, I am going on today. I'll shut up. Wishing you well. S
Here's hoping for some Leviticus real soon now....
You must have missed the whole "Keith Richard's snorts his daddies ashes" whoopty doo...
Keith's Poppy-coke urn...
Happy Easter!
I hope your spine is much better and I hope that you will recover real fast!
I like your pottery. The first Urn is simply beautiful! All are nice but I prefer the first one.
Beautiful stuff, Slag... I think I like Urn the best... then again, I sorta like "Urn"... and I really really like "smoke stack"... looks kinda dreamy and out there, in the ethers, and with an almost Native touch. I have a fondness for 'native'. Best of luck on the back stuff. I have chiropractic adjustments at least once a month just to keep from having to 'go there', where you're going, and have been. Been seeing one for years, for various maladies... wee bit of deterioration in the lower portion, that is commonly called arthritus... been out of whack, due to my previous 15 year career as a mail carrier, which trashed my back... and been whammed in a couple of vehicular accidents, which ecascerbated my previous condition. Of course I know nothing of your pain, but understand, somewhat, from my own experience. Best of luck with your treatment. And... Happy Easter... when all things are made new again, having died the slow death that the fall time of the year begins. May this be the start of your own renewal, regarding your spine. I am sad today, because on this day when many celebrate resurrection and rebirth, my Dad is taking his last breaths. He taught us all about unconditional love.
Hi Cheesy, in terms of level of difficulty and satisfaction, the genie pots are my favorites. Pulling tall narrow spouts on a potter’s wheel is one of those things that doesn’t always work out. Especially with clays that are suitable for raku firing. Thanks for the well-wishes by the way. My blogging duties are still on a limited schedule but I’m hoping that changes soon.
Hey doc, slowly but …slowly getting back to where I was before the needle affair. Regarding urn, I guess I could change my name to “Urnie.”
Hi Sarah, it is a lot like opening Christmas presents. I’ve had as many as ten cans going at a time and upwards of fifteen or so firings in one day. I’ve even lost track and forgotten to open a few till the next day. It’s like an easter egg hunt sort of. By the way, I checked out Eric & Ernie on YouTube and found a few seriously funny skits. Those are a couple of wacky dudes.
My darling Jilly, I was thinking a little Deuteronomy with some Genesis thrown in for good measure and maybe even and a smattering of Revelations.
Hi Scott, of course, now I feel like a dunderhead. I did hear that KR denied the rumor but I for one think he did it.
Hi Milena, thanks for dropping by and a very happy Rabbit Day to you. Thank you for your well wishes, my skeletal components are hopefully on the mend. Also, I’m pretty fond of the first one too. I call the handles on that urn “hundred & fifty dollar handles” because a close friend learned how to make them in a pottery class that cost her one hundred & fifty dollars in tuition fees for a one day course. Since that handle shape is the only thing she learned in that class, I guess you see where I’m going with this. Anyway, I checked out your blog and was very impressed by your photography, especially the Photoshop drawings and sculptures photographs.
Hi Shimmerrings, I’m terribly sad to hear that your dad is passing. I’ve lost many loved ones in my life and I know that there isn’t anything I can say that could possibly make it any easier for you. I have been told on many occasions that time heals all wounds. It is a comforting sentiment but not completely true. While time does have healing qualities, it is a good thing to remember that pain is not always your enemy. I know this is an utterly pathetic attempt to help you through your ordeal and characterizing pain as a positive force might seem outrageously lame, but the sharp edges will smooth over with time and pain has the capacity to help paint those memories of happier times in bold strokes and vivid colors. Ultimately, everybody has to find their own way. As for me, I willfully share my life with those painful memories so that my happy memories will not fade with the passage of time.
Good luck on your recovery, Slag!
Hi Goncalo, thanks for dropping by and thank you for the well wishes.
Beautiful pottery, the last one I feel should be called "vase" cuz it has that feeling. Hope you recover soon to be able to fire more of those magnificent pots
Hi Big Brother, thanks for dropping by and thanks for not tacking an “f” on the end of that “m” word. Regarding your suggestion that I call the last one “vase,” I think your idea is better than my first choice, “vawz.
I tried to post a comment here a few days ago, but it doesn't seem to have stuck. What's up with that? Anyway, I hope you're feeling much better. Hope you had a nice Easter too, if you celebrate that sort of thing.
Hi Anne, it must have been the blog gremlins, it’s irritating as hell I know. My bones seem to be falling into place slowly but not too surely, thanks for caring.
Those are beautiful! Have you done any bonsai pottery? I cultivate a few trees, and I am always on the lookout for interesting bonsai pots.
Frankenstein unbound! :)=
Cheers!
Hi I made it!
What amazing urns. The glazes look perfect to me ... Have you ever had one explode in the kiln? That's more if you're using porcelain slip though, isn't it? And it gets air bubbles in ...? He comments "knowledgeably"... in actual fact knowing absolutely bugger all about anything to do with kilnlike firing processes!
Spock, Spawwwwwwwwwk! thanks for your kind assessment of my humble efforts. I had never heard of a bonsai pot until I googled it just now. I’m currently obsessed with raku and I’ve started doing body casting, glass slumping and sculpture so it might be a while before I go in that direction, but who knows, now that you’ve got me thinking about it…
Hi Lord of Erewhon, thanks for dropping by. It funny you mention Frankenstein. Sometimes when I’m trying to save a doomed pot on the wheel and it actually comes back from the dead, I scream, “It’s alive! It’s alive!
Hey Gledwood, you made it! One of the largest pieces I ever made blew up in the kiln. I opened the lid and noticed immediately that the pot was about six inches shorter, it was tipping like Leaning Tower of Piza, and there was shrapnel all over the other pots as well as the bottom of the kiln, very disappointing. Typically, when I have a structural failure, it is during the post-fire-reduction phase of raku firing. I happens when you take pots heated to 1500 to 2300 degrees directly out of the kiln into the open air. You can imagine the heat stress considering how easy it is to shatter a chilled glass bowl just by pouring warm water in it. Multiply that by a several hundred and it’s a wonder any of them turn out.
Hey! Guess where your blog just came up?? On the Random Blog Button!! What's the chances of THAT happening!!!???!
How's the back now, Slaghammer? These pots are stunning. Do you sell them or is it for fun? People would pay lots of money for these, I'm sure. They're all beautiful but the smokey-spouted one is my favourite I think. It has that informality that you get from a two-piece outfit as opposed to a dress. It reminds me a wee bit of Hillary Clinton - it's the hips. And you know Hills' hips don't lie. Oh yeah. Uh-huh.
Hi. How's your back Slaghammer ? Hope the injections worked well. S
Good luck! I hope they can help you ^^
Well my follow up comment from lastr week got gobbled up by blogger. I am a pottery junkie & consider your artwork to be exceptional. What you would see as a flaw, I would see as added authenticity to the uniqueness of each peice.
Also, I do consider you young...as I beleive we are about the same age & I hope that your youthfullness helps to expedite your heal time!
That's some amazing pottery you got there, pal. Regarding the other, I hope your injection went well and your disks are less bulgy!
Hi. I hope you don't mind, but I nominated you for Best Blog about stuff and Best blog Humour in the Bloggers choice awards.For all you other Slaghammer devotees - you can vote by going to Bloggers Choice Awards and typing in Alchemy Anyone.
I really hope you are ok about this Slaghammer. Please don't bar me from your blog!! I just think your writing is fab( despite your protestations)I'm quite new to blogging so I hope I haven't broken any Bloggers etiquette by not asking you first?
Please vote everyone! S
Your pottery work rocks! The second picture reminds me of the bottle that Barbara Eden lived in during "I Dream of Jeannie".
Many blessings on your back, hope you are back working the clay soon!
I'm having something similar happen to my shoulder tomorrow. Ah the joy. I hope your back is feeling better.
Love your "urn" work!
Your syringe freaks me out. I'm linking to it now.
Hey Gledwood, stranger things have happened I guess. When I was a kid, I tied a wallet to fishing line and had some guy chasing it like you would never guess a guy would actually chase a wallet. I met a dude at a party maybe ten years later who was telling the story to somebody else. We compared notes and it was definitely my wallet he was chasing.
Hi Sam, I’ve never had any of my pottery compared to Hillary’s hips before, I’m honored. I do sell some and give others away but only locally since my regular business pays the bills and I just can’t devote enough time to mass market my pottery. Thanks for the compliment.
Hi Sarah, the needle did some good but overall it is a little disappointing. Still crossing my fingers though.
Hi Romina, thanks for dropping by, I hope they can too.
Hi Skinny, I hate it when blogger does that. I remember from previous comments and posts that you are afflicted with the pottery bug. I totally agree with you that mistakes can sometimes push a piece of art over the edge from being just ok, to “holy shit” glory. However, if you had seen some of the gawd-awful crap that has come off my wheel, I think you would have snatched the hammer from my hands and beaten them into fragments yourself. You know, it’s actually fun to do that every now and then. I expend so much energy being careful with my clay that cracking an ugly one on occasion is very therapeutic.
Hi Crankster, thanks for the kind words. I’ve just about decided that maybe I’ve been too considerate of my bulgy disk. Maybe it’s time to punish it for being a lazy weakling. I use that same strategy when I get stomach bugs (often) from eating food from questionable restaurants. I think eating bland food only encourages salmonella and e-coli to hang around so I pummel them with jalapenos and pizza. I’ll let you know how that plan works out.
Oh Sarah, what have you done? I’ve been trying so hard to keep my blog a secret, now one or two other people might find out about it. Actually, I’m honored that you think my blog is worthy of standing shoulder-to-kneecap with the heavy hitters. Just don’t be too discouraged if my little bloggette stays buried under the pile.
Hi Belladonna, I call those my genie bottles. I think I’ll give the old wheel a whirl this weekend.
Hi Leenie, thanks for dropping by, all the way from Australia no less. It’s amazing how many people are getting the needle for the same reason I am. Thank Zeus we live in an age where needles are plentiful.
Hi Thejunkyswife, it freaks me out too. It dredges up memories that are just as well left buried. I hope you find a way to make the needle a distant memory.
yeah well... answering your comment on my blog... I was quite disrespectful to teachers who didn't deserve it. And now I'm working as a teacher with disrespectful brats... hehehe I guess that's the kind of thing why I call my life a karmic trashcan :P
Listen,Slaghammer,I'm just glad you're still talking to me!! And you have 1 vote at least - mine for what its worth.I'm sorry your back is not as good as you had hoped. I hope it improves. S
Good luck with your procedure. I hope you soon feel better.
"Urn".....funny.
Beautiful pottery.
Hey Romina, “karmic trashcan” definitely says it all.
Hi Sarah, its all good. I wonder if I can vote for myself, I’ll give it a try.
Hi Mimi, thanks, thanks and triple thanks. Regardless of how it all turns out, I’ll figure out a way to make it work.
Wow! I wanted to reach into the screen and touch the most beautiful raku I've ever seen. I especially like the one called, "urn." You don't sell on line?
May your back heal quickly; I've had the same problem and it is about the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced.
Hi Valerie, Urn is my favorite one too. One of these days I’ll quit my regular job and spend the rest of my life doing pottery, that’s when I’ll start selling online, someday.
Gorgeous stuff, Slag! I want my filthy, mud-encrusted hands holding all of them close to me so they might catch the drops of covetous(?) saliva dripping from my tongue. I want them all!
Sorry to be so absent in postings...I've had some medical woes, too. Let me know if the injections don't work 'cause Pappa's got a brand new bag (if ya know what I mean!)
Madpotter! Sweet mother of Zeus! I missed reading this post. I don’t know how it slipped through my net; I blame my failing neural network for this unforgivable lapse of protocol. A million thanks for your kind words regarding my clay babies. It is now September 29 2007 and my back is doing better but still not ok. I’ll visit your blog and reiterate.
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