Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Spiders On Drugs

This explains 1974 through 1980 something. What was I talking about?

28 Comments:

Blogger Kara said...

I commented on your last post and blogger chose not to save it. Instead of typing it out again, I'm choosing to spend my time much more wisely by being miffed and going to sit in the corner with a mighty "harumph!".

2:06 PM, January 10, 2007  
Blogger vampfaerie said...

i just found this totally awesome-ish blog and decided to comment....first asking the question of umm...just how old r u all?....and then basically nothing else...ya...hmm

6:47 PM, January 10, 2007  
Blogger mist1 said...

This was my favorite part of Psych 101.

8:31 PM, January 10, 2007  
Blogger Stucco said...

Very good Slag. I approve. Oh- and as a public declaration, I am old enough to spell out "are you".

10:34 PM, January 10, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Kara, you can harumph all you want as long as you don’t chortle or guffaw. I hate chortles.

Hi Vampfaerie, sometimes you look at people and you think, I’ll die of old age before I get as old as they are, but down inside you know it is your fate… pretty scary. Then you get as old as I am and look at people your age and think, I wouldn’t go through that misery again for anything in the world. In answer to your question, I have concert ticket stubs that are almost three time older than you are. Welcome to by humble blog.

Hi Mist, I’m not sure I would want to be an arthropod in your laboratory. I have a feeling you would pull all of my legs off and burn me with cigarette butts.

Hey Stucco, I thought you would. Btw, the only phrase I abbreviate is “by the way.” For some reason, I still spell out things like “thirty five and a half” and “sweet mother of Zeus.”

12:44 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger Judith said...

Slag
That was wonderful loved the restraining order and mini gun! On a different note - Is it me or are the youth of today so lazy that they shun the proper way to spell for the annoying and downright stupid abreviations of Text messaging?? Ive I am getting old at least I still have the energy levels to type out full rounded words, so I guess thats a good sign?

3:11 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger Judith said...

Bugger what I meant to say is if I am getting old at least I have the energy levels to type out full and rounded words - my last comment is de facto proof that I am getting old as my words are tinctured with dementia :oD

3:18 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger Jazz said...

Us Canadians? Dude, we rock!

7:47 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger katherine said...

Is it true that spiders drink your tears at night?

9:35 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Judith, I think it is a result of telephone text messaging. Thumb typing and limited space makes it inevitable. Btw, be gentle with the young ones, they will be prescribing our anti-psychotic meds and signing legal documents for us one of these days, not to mention sponge baths. I do not want a disgruntled nursing home attendant scraping me for barnacles if you know what I mean.

Hey Jazz, you Canadians do rock. It’s like having a really cool neighbor on a block where everybody thinks you’re a jerk. Don’t say it! Let me have my dream.

Hi Katherine, yes, it is true that spiders drink your tears at night. We are infested with “Hair Weaver” spiders. I wake up almost every morning coiffed in the style of Elvis in his Las Vegas years. I take morning showers though so it never lasts.

11:58 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger Dr. Blogstein said...

Genius. Pure genius that only can be brought to us by Slagger.

8:54 PM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hey Doc, is that how they refer to it these days? It seems like only yesterday it they called it clinical psychosis. It’s all in the nomenclature I guess.

11:39 PM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Wtf, cars and guns? I was watching it silently (had music playing in the background).. then wtf happened? Hammocks, cars, sex?!

lol @ "nick web, crack spider"

3:16 AM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger Judith said...

Slag
I hope to be completely out of my mind if I ever get to a nursing home and if Im not of course Ill be completely sweet and entertaining to those who look after me, one of the many things Ill instruct my daughters to pack when they do send me off to 'shady pines' is a taser gun for those heavy handed frau's with the bedside manner of joan crawford

3:25 AM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Eewww! Spider! As a complete arachnophobe, I cannot bear to watch. Let me know when the spider's gone.

Puss

5:52 AM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Orhan, that’s definitely a video you have to play with audio. Although, it would be a good video for a caption or narrative contest.

Judith, oh! oh! taser gun, that’s what I forgot to put on my shopping list! Thanks.

Hey Glamourpuss, I’m sorry to have to do this, but since you can’t watch the video, I’ll narrate it for you. First, the spider is crawling up the woman’s leg. The spider’s fangs are dripping with venom and twitching in anticipation of the tender flesh around the girl’s neck. The music builds to a crescendo as the spider entangles itself in the hair around the poor victim’s ear. The sinister spider raises his fangs high and with an arching attack, plunges them deep, piercing the blood vessels below. Gallon after gallon of spider venom courses through the now paralyzed body of the unfortunate girl. Wasting no time, the spider wraps her in a cocoon of sticky spider web. The spider now feeds at leisure.
Did that make it easier for you? No? Let me try again.
The spider trained his green compound eyes on Angelica as she slept, his stiff bristly hairs standing rigid in anticipation of an easy meal…

11:46 AM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger Dr. Blogstein said...

Spiders on Drugs...isn't Samuel L. Jackson in that?

2:41 PM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Doc, yes, there’s “motherfucking spiders on the motherfucking drugs.”

5:30 PM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger skinnylittleblonde said...

LoL, especially at the hammock. Craziness all around. First Church of Christ Film-maker?

12:35 AM, January 14, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Skinny, you have an eye for detail, I didn’t notice the Church of Christ credit. I’m not sure what the logic is behind it but it is funny, for some reason that I can’t explain.

12:55 PM, January 14, 2007  
Blogger nq said...

wow, that's amazing...
really, just, amazing...

1:27 AM, January 15, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Nq, I agree, amazing and informative. I’ve had friends very similar to the wood spider, you trust them because they seem like they have their shit together and then the jackasses twist off the first time they get stoned. Then when you start finding your stuff being sold in the nearest pawn shop, they start with the “sorry man, it wasn’t me, it was the crack.” Never trust a wood spider.

2:49 AM, January 15, 2007  
Blogger Crankster said...

They missed "spiders on PCP," which, of course, has the line, "I think I can fly!"

4:52 PM, January 15, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Crankster, around about 1977 I actually did pcp but it was totally by accident. I was at a party and had done a few too many tequila shots when I got the bright idea to scratch my nose with a rolled up twenty dollar bill. This guy was cutting out lines on my living room coffee table when I lost my balance and against all odds, the stuff ended up in my nose. It happened again a few weeks later but I was a lot more careful after that. It’s animal tranquilizer you know, definitely not my idea of a good time.

12:58 AM, January 16, 2007  
Blogger Gledwood said...

Luuurve that spider thing...

Luuurve your blog, in fact.

found it thru thingie called Random Blog... your url is blocked from the top of the screen so I'm hoping to be able to find you again. (I'm not THAT amazingly technicallly literate, either, but you try using randomblog.blogspot and you'll see what I mean about missing urls...)..

okay then, take care... keep posting such entertaining things...

oh yeah and feel free to drop by at mine:
http://gledwood2.blogspot.com
very different from yours, I can tell you that!!!

L8Rs,
Gledwood

6:33 PM, January 22, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Gledwood, thanks for coming by. I’m treading water at the moment but I’ll drop in on your blog in the very near future.

1:33 AM, January 24, 2007  
Blogger Gledwood said...

I'm surprised I didn't say this b4 but this is serious:- in the 1950s they really did experiment with dropping LSD on spiders and watching them trip out. They made beautiful webs at lower doses. At huge doses, just span a lump of sticky mess...

2:06 PM, January 25, 2007  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hey Gledwood, they did a lot of human experimenting also. I’ve seen footage of American and British military personnel tripping their balls off. A narrator provides commentary on their fits of laughter and failure to take the war thing seriously. I’ve also seen footage of civilian LSD tests too but they aren’t nearly as funny for some reason. I think they should have done their experiments with shrooms instead, a much nicer buzz as far as I’m concerned.

3:47 PM, January 25, 2007  

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