Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Jackass

I met these two at a remote jobsite a while back. The jenny (female) wasted no time in hitting me up for an ear scratching. The jack (male) was not amused and immediately put himself between his woman and me. I was not interested in doing battle for mating rights, so I went about my business. Being true to his nature, the jackass could not let it go. So he did what any jackass would do, he mounted her. As is evident from the pic, there is no amorous intent. He is just letting me know that if anybody is going to be doing the business end of this little honey, it’s going to be him. He was still there when I left 10 minutes later, putting on his best “studly” face.
The cows are doing what cows do. They are engaged in the eternal quest for material to convert into manure. They are profoundly dedicated and very efficient at what they do.

14 Comments:

Blogger Serena said...

the jackasses dont take no shit! the cows, apparently, are giving it away.

7:02 AM, September 12, 2006  
Blogger Agent Kitten said...

still would like to see an unmasked picture of you, for identification purposes. i promise it will only take part of your soul. and you know what they say, we only use 10 percent of it.

7:15 AM, September 12, 2006  
Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Oh the horror!

Fact: more donkeys kill people per year than plane crashes.

My question is, what the hell are people doing to get killed by a donkey? I think you came pretty close to answer that.

8:52 AM, September 12, 2006  
Blogger Kara said...

Ok, first and foremost...I find it amusing that you think the picture needs explaining...second and less than foremost...who just happens to stumble upon two asses (no, I don't mean republicans) fornicating on any given day?

4:01 PM, September 12, 2006  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Serena, you are correct. Those cows are the biggest sluts. They will leave you for the first truck that comes by with a load of hay.

Hi AK, I have less than ten percent left as it is. Maybe I can post a few pixels. Or better yet, google Arnold Schwarzenegger and Alert Einstein. I look like neither one of them. That should narrow it down.

Hey Orhan, I have tried to warn people about donkeys but nobody listens. They will stop at nothing short of the total annihilation of humankind. I averted danger in this instance by walking away. Sure, that was one sweet little filly, but would I die for her, no. Judging by the statistics, many do not have that kind of willpower.

Hello Kara, somebody has to tell their story. I am a voice for the voiceless and I ask you, if not me then who? If not here then where? If not how then why?
In answer to your question, jackasses have no shame. It’s not like they are thinking, oh shit!here comes a car. They don’t care if you watch, so where’s the harm in taking a picture and then sometimes looking at it and wondering what might have been?

Ok enough of this shit. I’m getting queasy.

5:08 PM, September 12, 2006  
Blogger ian said...

Maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe said jackass has had his eye on the capricious filly in the next field and the jenny decided just a little jealousy was just the ticket to earn some - I hesitate to call it foreplay or cuddling - attention.

I can't believe I thought of this.

Ian

9:35 PM, September 12, 2006  
Blogger Humour and last laugh said...

Your opinion about the Boss are shared by many.

10:12 PM, September 12, 2006  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Ian,
There is a name for what you are doing. It's called enabling. The best way to help the jackass is to encourage him to take responsibility for his actions. My Al-Anass group meets every Friday. You should come.

Hello Humour,
It is the human condition and not the least of the countless social maladies.

11:34 PM, September 12, 2006  
Blogger Bazza said...

A well-observed piece of animal anthropology there, slaggy.
Did you hear about the two bulls who were looking at the next meadow full of cows? The young bull said "Let's run into that field and surprise some of those cows". The older bull said, "No, let's stroll into that field and surprise them all!"

4:30 PM, September 13, 2006  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Baz,
I like jokes that make me feel better about my age. Thank you.

5:03 PM, September 13, 2006  
Anonymous Justin said...

Hmm ... maybe my mating techniques have been wrong all along ...

7:32 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Justin, I recommend your french fry deliciousness chart be applied to a greater common good. The answer to your mating problem may have been in palm of your hand from the very beginning. If that doesn't work, the jackass method is a proven winner.

10:50 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger movita said...

Donkeys are awesome.

5:05 PM, September 16, 2006  
Blogger slaghammer said...

Hi Movita, donkeys are ok, but they can be distant sometimes

7:12 PM, September 16, 2006  

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